Gaffin and Reilly.
Several correspondents made sarcastic remarks about what might be the next entry in the Globe's 23,987-part series, "Women And The Things They Do." Their prospects were hilariously outrageous. But then again, so was that bowling story. I wouldn't put it past some newspaper somewhere to have actually written these stories. And so, the contest is this, O Readers: Find a story in any newspaper anywhere that has done these stories, or reasonably similar ones, and you will receive...
Hmm. There's a dilemma. As of yesterday, I had $5 of free tacos to give away. Oh yes, that very same $5. In El Pelon Bucks. It's been moldering in my desk since the Dig's flaky former business manager paid it to me, one day when they ran out of petty cash to give to stray freelancers. But it seems that El Pelon has just burned to the ground. So if you win, you'll have to be content with that smugness which, like virtue, is its own reward.
For Fictional Story #1, which informs us that women sometimes drive buses, our correspondent has kindly supplied the headline:
Women at the Wheel
Bus driving has long been a man's world, but that's starting to change
For Fictional Story #2, which concerns women and their big dogs, you have a lede to get you started:
"Mary is only 96 pounds and a meager 5'2". She seems delicate, tiny, when she walks her great dane, Bobo, around Hyde Park. But Mary, like a rising number of women today, are opting for dogs of beast-like proportions rather than the ankle-biters sported by Paris Hilton."
Are these stories too vacantly patronizing to exist? Is anything? I once thought I'd seen the most drivellous pap the news industry had to offer. And then I read about Mommy Dating.