Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Globe Announces Limerick Contest

In honor of the spectacular drunken mess scheduled for next week, the Globe has once again rolled out their annual contest for "limericks that sum up Boston." I couldn't resist entering it. Here's mine:

Said the Globe's troubled boss, Marty Baron,
"The news biz is, frankly, despairin'.
Half the folks who find facts
Will be getting the axe.
Now go cover some rich MILFs in Sharon!"

Anybody else? If you enter this contest, please, please post your limerick here as well. (Suldog, that means you!)


  1. Since you showed me yours...

    I once took a trip to South Boston,
    It was snowing some snow I got lost in,
    Instead of 7th and G,
    I was at Broadway and E,
    It's all good; I read a book about defrostin'

    (It helps if you know that there's a library by E and Broadway.)

    That was my entry. I was actually prompted to enter that one by "Librarian On The Run", at whose blog I first posted it, in response to her own entry.

    (Goodness, that sentence can't possibly be grammatically correct. Oh, well.)

    (And this may be a double comment on my part, as something happened to my computer while posting. If so, feel free to delete one.)

  2. That was a great limerick. Very clever.

  3. GLOBE TO DIE, warns a dubious article.
    Maybe so--but would that be so horrible?
    For the paper lacks vigor!
    It's the Herald, but bigger!
    That's the truth, or my name's not Mike Barnicle.

  4. Back when we first hired Kevin Cullen,
    Foul misdeeds he was always anullin'.
    Now he drones about wiseguys,
    And breathes Irish-eyes sighs,
    And kisses the ass of L. Mullen.

  5. Blue lights lit up the night sky.
    The columnist swore, burped, and asked why.
    In the company car,
    He hadn't gone far,
    But now, his rap sheet reads "DUI."

  6. The problem with young Johnny Diaz
    Isn't just the assignments that he has.
    It's the limp, listless prose
    that makes one hold one's nose,
    and ponder the value a tree has.

  7. Bravo, bravo. Gold stars for all of you. These are amazing.

  8. Hey McMorrow! Challenge accepted.

    Though his brain is the size of a goby
    The Globe just won't dump Jeff Jacoby.
    Why hire a Poindex-
    Ter when you can scrape dreck
    From the bottom of Lake Okeechobee?

  9. A self-employed fellow from Hingham
    Has a disturbing lump on his lingam
    But his lame Mass. health plan
    Doesn't cover that, man.
    'though the steep monthly payments still sting 'im.

  10. By the way, I would point out that last year's winning entry actually doesn't rhyme, but maybe it does if you come from Worcester.