This just in from Portland, ME: Women are capable of engaging in various artistic and cultural pursuits, even if they are also simultaneously performing functions common to all animal life forms, such as respiration, digestion and reproduction.
Salli Wason is a Portland mother of two precocious teenage daughters. She breeds her many bands as lovingly as her kids, having helped form Hatchetface, Man-Witch, and Hessian. She looks a bit like a biker chick, but not the kind who rides behind anybody.
Surely by now you must have seen this video of the peerless M.I.A. performing onstage at the Grammys on her due date. No? Well, have at it. [Oops. Copyrighted! Well, here's a different video.]
"The imagery of a scantily-clad, or should I say scandalously-clad, pregnant young women dancing on stage with a bunch of male rappers whose rhymes sometimes debase women, was just too much for me. And don't even get me started on what this cringe-worthy antic might say to impressionable teenage girl fans."
In other words: You lose. You lose for being pregnant. You lose for associating with men. You lose for not covering your shamefully pregnant body enough. You lose for being insufficiently feminist. Did I mention you lose for being pregnant? Stupid woman--you're not people when you're pregnant.
See, this is the trouble with blogging. I think if Valbrun had walked away from the computer and had a cup of coffee, before firing off some asshaberdashery about how M.I.A. should have stayed at home in a prairie dress knitting booties and quivering in terror, she would have thought better of it.
I nominate M.I.A. for Ballsiest Motherfucker in Hip-Hop.
**UPDATE!** You're Not People When You're Pregnant Part II: Rachael Larimore agrees.
**UPDATE II!** The Grammys called. They want their video back. In its place, please enjoy a home movie of a baby dancing to Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie."
"It Is Not Done Well, But You Are Surprised To Find It Done At All."
If you're here for newspaper women blogging about newspapers writing about women blogging -- and ice-fishing -- and drinking Brandy -- and buying Motor-Cars -- and becoming Police-Officers -- and doing all manner of People-Type Things -- you've come to the right place. Welcome to the spleen-o-dome.
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