Johnny Diaz, At It Again

Our favorite Globe scribe has once again been astounded to discover, upon powering up his television of a morning, that there are women on it.

There’s a new weather pattern emerging in Boston: For the first time, all five of the meteorologists on Boston’s early-morning and midday newscasts are women. Stations have recruited and elevated more women from less-coveted weekend shifts to the highly competitive weekday morning race to deliver weather updates.

Oh my.

Moreover, these female weatherpersonesses -- these sheteorologists, if you will -- are closing the much-bemoaned Science Gender Gap.

Frank Colby, a meteorology professor at the University of Massachusetts Lowell, said, “What we are seeing is a trend toward women scientists,’’ he said. “To be a meteorologist, you need to be able to do math and science and this is like calculus and differential equations and apply it to the atmosphere and make sense out of it.’’

TV weather: It's so hard and sciencey. You really have to know stuff about using mathematical models to predict the behavior of complex and dynamic factors in the real world in order to stand in front of a map of the Eastern seaboard and point out the happy sun face over Hingham. Right, Stephen Colbert?

For those who have been sleeping in class and would like a refresher course on the women infesting Johnny Diaz's television, please refer to our March, 2009 tirade on Diaz's classic of the Women Do ____ genre, "The rise of the anchorwomen."

P.S. In an earlier version of this post, I missed the story and linked instead to the Globe's Weather Babes photo gallery. Forty lashes for me.

The Breeders

This just in from Portland, ME: Women are capable of engaging in various artistic and cultural pursuits, even if they are also simultaneously performing functions common to all animal life forms, such as respiration, digestion and reproduction.

In other words: Moms Rock.

Salli Wason is a Portland mother of two precocious teenage daughters. She breeds her many bands as lovingly as her kids, having helped form Hatchetface, Man-Witch, and Hessian. She looks a bit like a biker chick, but not the kind who rides behind anybody.

When do we get to be people, Pinky?

Hegans

The Globe's latest "Most Clicked" bait: Men leave their own mark on veganism.

Taylor Wells, who owns the cafe and yoga enterprise with her hegan husband, Philippe, estimates that 10 to 15 percent of their customers are hegans. “We get men who come in who want to cleanse and feel good. We like to ease them into it. I think the word vegan gets a bad rap, it sounds very militant and angry,’’ says Wells.

Anything I might add would be utterly superfluous.

Anyway, I hear Bostonist is going to rip this thing a new one shortly.

Reporter Blows Entire Lifetime Allotment of Commas in One Go

I would like to call your attention to this story, "A woman surfaces in the Hudson River landscape."

Not because it's a Women Do, but because it's truly a stunning piece of work. It tacks back and forth between commas and em-dashes like a drunken mule on a pile of rocks.

Because of its locale, Cragsmoor — like Palenville — enjoyed an early period as an artists’ colony, with names like E. L. Henry, Frederick Dellenbaugh, George Inness, and, later on, Charles Courtney Curran bringing the attention of the nation to the raw beauty and majestic landscape that is literally perched atop Ordovician pebble soil — a distinctly different look and feel to the lay of the land than anywhere else in the Hudson Valley.

It has such an air of demented melancholy to it. If I were smarter, I would build a robot that could write like that and make it answer all my emails.

Women Die in Ignominy

Mary Daly died this week in a nursing home in Gardner.

If this is the first you've heard of Mary Daly, that's because they don't teach squat to the youth of today. And because the New York Times is run by stone-cold bitches.

Does it strike anyone else as odd that the last century's boldest, toughest, most ferociously crucified, most unapologetically singular feminist philosopher didn't get an obit in the Times yesterday? They can't really claim ignorance, seeing as how they still own the Boston Globe, which saw fit to inform us in an obit that, despite being a tad on the bland side, at least had the requisite heft for a Public Figure.

If you'd like to get an idea of what Mary Daly is to contemporary feminist thought and theology, I recommend you go to the Museum of Comparative Zoology at Harvard and pay a respectful visit to the prize of the fossil room, the sea-going Jabberwock, Kronosaurus queenslandicus. Take along a copy of the February 26, 1996 issue of the New Yorker, in which Daly recounts her epic battles with Boston College, God and the all-pervasive patriarcho-industrial complex. "Sin Big," she urges us. Look at those teeth.

One wonders just what a lady has to do to get obitularimazised in the New York Times these days. Run a strip joint for her ass of a husband, maybe. Yep. That'd do it.

**UPDATE!** Oh, look here! Somebody dredged up a teensy little AP item!

**UPDATE UPDATE!** Haw. The AP item linked above just tripled in size while I was linking to it. Somebody's playing catch-up.